Unraveling Newman Blake Read online

  Newman pauses. Maybe this is God? Being able to end suffering - being able to end pain. Newman thinks to himself and decides. This can’t be God; this is man. I want to find more concrete evidence or communication with God, I want to see God or at least hear him. God please reveal yourself to me …”

  So, he clicks on the link “In the name of God”

  A purple light is cast on his face sweeping him away into the next pursuit.

  Student kills 300 after teacher says, “There is no God”.

  A 17-year-old student at a senior school in London yesterday set fire to a 500-bed dormitory at his school. The student had apparently had an argument with his teacher earlier in the week about religion. The science teacher told the young man that there was in fact no scientific evidence of God.

  The young man was reportedly a very passionate and devout believer of God, and took the argument to heart. He ignited the dormitories and approximately 300 young people including him, burned to death, reportedly, in the name of God.

  He stops reading. Well this man truly believes in God, and has conviction, maybe he knows the real God. But I guess I will never know now. Let me carry on searching. But this time let me try an original approach; let me try chatting to God over the chat lines.

  So, the still determined Newman goes to a chat room, and to his surprise there is a person chatting with the nickname “God”.

  He types:

  Newman> Hi

  Newman waits ….

  God> Hi

  Newman> Who are you?

  God> I am whatever you want me to be, but the more important question is who are you?

  Newman> I am a man in search of God … and I am trying to find him on the Internet.

  God> You can only truly search for God, when you truly seek the truth. And you cannot seek the truth if you have assumptions.

  Newman> What assumptions?

  God> You have assumed that God is the Creator of life and man. You have also assumed that God is therefore good. Newman, do not be so closed-minded.

  Newman> Who are you?

  God> Do not change the subject. You will come across countless examples that could be manifestations of God, but how will you know? And is the Internet the right place to be looking?

  Newman> Well … the Internet is a tree of information accessible to your computer … but all placed there by man. Every little bit of information that is found or read on the Net is placed there by man, and all communication made online is made by man, so if I was to find anything on the Internet it would be a good synopsis of man or human nature – not God.

  God> But what if God in his truest form reveals himself through human nature … then the chances are that you will find God?

  Newman pauses.

  Newman> Can I ask you a question?

  God> Yes?

  Newman> Are you God?

  God> No I am man.

  Newman suddenly feels embarrassed and vulnerable.

  I have been foolish and made a mistake. I have searched the tree of knowledge for God and gone in a full circle to find man.

  Newman becomes furious. He throws the keyboard onto the floor and rages out of the dark room in shame. The room is now totally quiet, and all that can be seen is the flickering white light of the computer screen casting through the darkness onto the wall.

  Chapter five

  “I told you so, I told you so.” The clown shrieks. Newman is back in the void.

  He is a little dizzy.

  “I told you, that you turned your back on God.”

  “That wasn’t God, he said he was a man, you heard him …didn’t you?”

  “Newman, Newman, Newman, when will you learn? You sat in front of the tree of knowledge of good and evil and you didn’t find God?

  “No.”

  “It’s simple, there can be nothing outside the poles of extreme evil and extreme good. It was then that you denied God, your path changed forever, and you ended you up here.”

  “Where is Amber? How do I get to her? Please …”

  The clown clicks his fingers and out of nowhere music starts playing again. This time it is, Unchained Melody from the movie Ghost.

  ‘…And time goes by, so slowly and time…’

  The clown takes out a handkerchief and mockingly wipes a tear from his eye. “How touching. I loved that movie.”

  He lets out a roar of laughter and throws the handkerchief into the air.

  “Now, now Nu-nu, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

  “Amber, if I may call her that,” he says mockingly, “is in another realm. And you could only be with her if you truly loved her.”

  The clown pulls a bible out his pocket, and sarcastically reads: “What is bound on earth will be bound in heaven.”

  He looks at Newman.

  “I did bind her on earth. I loved her. Is this heaven?”

  “Don’t change the subject, Nu-nu. You say you truly loved her. Prove it to me.”

  He clicks his fingers and once again the ground starts shaking, and then darkness.

  Chapter six

  He hears a door closing behind him locking the cold out, and the warmth and music inside. He breathes the atmosphere in. He knows where he is. He doesn't have to look. He has lived this day before. He is at Romeo's Coffee Bar. He opens his eyes and breathes out. His mouth tastes dry and he yearns for that familiar taste of beer. He walks to the bar through a few people and pushes in to order a beer.

  The music that is playing is the Blues. He wants to see if he knows anyone here. He gets to the window and decides to take a seat. He takes a sip of his beer and lights a cigarette.

  He looks around and sees a lady sitting at a window table and she is alone. She looks at her watch and then looks at him for a second. She realises that he is watching her and she quickly looks away, and looks at her watch again. She has a cup of coffee in front of her and one empty one, next to it.

  That lady has been here for a while.

  Newman continues staring at her. God, she is beautiful.

  I wonder if she is alone. I want to go and speak to her. He can’t move...

  She takes a sip of her coffee and looks across at him again. She knows he is watching her for sure now.

  This guy has been watching me for five minutes, he could be my date. How can I be sure though? I can't just walk over to him. He is a total stranger. I know that the guy I am supposed to be meeting is an accountant, and he is supposed to be wearing a red sweater anyway.

  She looks at him a little longer and then concludes: There is no way that he is an accountant.

  She looks away. Newman is still looking at her. He feels this sudden burst of confidence and stands up. He walks over to her. His heart is beating like a drum. He can feel it. It's all he can feel.

  Newman looks at her, getting her attention and then says: “Excuse me, would you mind if I ask you a question?”

  Amber looks up at him and answers: “Are you my blind date?”

  Newman thinks quickly, say yes, and replies, “no, but I was watching you from over there and I think that you are very beautiful, and it would be my absolute pleasure to sit with you for a brief time and chat while you wait for whoever you are waiting for. No strings attached just a short chat and then I will leave.”

  Amber thinks to herself for a second: My date is never going to arrive.

  Amber answers: “Yes, but when my date arrives, you will have to leave.”

  Newman sits down quickly and says: “Fine. All I want is five minutes of your time and then you can tell me to stay or to leave and I will. Just five minutes.”

  “Yes…”

  Newman looks at his watch and says: “I saw you sitting there and I knew that we would connect. You see, I come here often and I don't often speak to people that I don't know. But it was different with you. I saw that you were looking at your watch, and that you were on your second cup of coffee. I also saw that you dressed conservatively and were prim and ladylike. I knew there was no
way you would have pushed yourself through to the bar twice. Unless, unless you had been waiting here long. You don't come across as the type of lady to push yourself through drinking men. You seem too ladylike for that. I then saw that you looked around quite often. You are dressed nicely, but not overdone. You want to look good, but not too good. I figured that you must have been waiting for a blind date. But, then I thought why? She is beautiful. She has beautiful eyes and beautiful face. Why would she be waiting for a blind date? There is no way that you can have a problem finding a man. I'm sure men are falling at your feet.

  “So, the only plausible reason could be that you have had bad luck with men. You have been treated badly a few times and now you are wondering if you will ever find the right man. Then I thought well if there is a blind date still arriving, then you have no feelings about him yet. It was my chance. Before you met this man, I wanted to meet you. After all you have no feelings for me either. I have just as much chance as him. So, I came over. You see, I am perceptive. I have the gift of insight. I can read situations. And when I looked into your eyes over that coffee cup, all I could see with all the intuition that God has given me, is the most beautiful, pure and compassionate person I have ever seen.”

  Newman keeps silent for a while. The rumble of the Blues plays on.

  “Tell me I am wrong and I will walk away and you will never see me again, or tell me I am right and I will stay and we can chat.”

  Amber takes a sip of her coffee. “I don't mind if you stay for a while, but you will have to leave when my date arrives.”

  Newman makes himself comfortable and asks: “Have you been here before?”

  “No, I have walked past it before. I usually walk past here when I go to get groceries.”

  “Oh, you live close by.”

  “Yes, about two blocks away.”

  “Well, what do you think of the place, now that you are here for the first time?”

  “It's not bad, I like the music, but I don't usually come to places like this.”

  “What do you do in your spare time then?”

  “I read. I read a lot.”

  “Really, like what.”

  “I read nearly anything, just not comedy.”

  “Well, what are your favourite books?”

  “My all-time favourite book is a romance.”

  “What do you like so much about it?”

  “I love the underlying messages in the story.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Well, the story is a about a man who will never change his ideals from generation to generation, and he is so stringent in his personality that his whole life falls apart because he can't adapt to a changing environment. And then there is his wife, and all she knows how to do is love her husband. Through rich and poor, through pain and suffering, she sticks to her vows, even though her whole life is falling apart, because her husband won't change.”

  “Why does that appeal to you so much?”

  “I guess I am a romantic, I believe in true love.”

  “And what other books do you like?”

  “I like books about love at first sight; I like books about men who go to war for love - basically any genre where love conquers through struggle. I also like books about psychology”.

  “But isn't it a sad indictment? That true love can only emerge through struggle? I mean why can’t two people just meet and live happily ever after. Does there always have to be an element of struggle?”

  “Well, in my experience there always is, except that I usually don't make it to the other side. So, I have realised that the only reason can be that it wasn't true love.”

  “So, what you are saying is that if love can sustain through hardship then it is true love?”

  “Yes.”

  “But if you take that a step further, it could be said that the degree of hardship would be an accurate depiction of the level of love?”

  “I believe that.”

  “So, you believe that a man who goes to war to protect his wife and family is the noblest kind of man there can be?”

  “Not necessarily a man who goes to war, but perhaps a more accurate definition would be a man who is prepared to push himself to the utmost limit for love.”

  “Well, the utmost limit, for any man is either to die for love or kill for love. I mean that is the most extreme action that one can take.”

  “That’s what I believe, but as I said before I am a romantic.”

  “Ok. So, you have explained your meaning of the sustainability of love and the test of love, but how do you think people fall in love?”

  “I follow a psychological school of thought on that.”

  “Yes”

  “Well, I believe that every single person has a love script.”

  “A love script?”

  “Yes. When we are born, we have a genetic makeup. We also form a personality as well as preferences and tastes. When our personality is moulding, we have a picture or vision of the perfect man or woman in our hearts and minds. The picture is not so much what they look like, but how they make us feel. You see, let’s say that when I was a child I had a deep-seated need for security and affection. Then what happens is that the dream man that I want will subconsciously fulfil those desires. You see people will meet, there will be a physical attraction to a point, and then if the two love scripts match then there is no stopping them. Love is like two powerful magnets that pull at each other the more they fulfil each other's psychological needs. And there is nothing in this world that can come in between a man and a woman when that happens.”

  “I thought you said that you were romantic?”

  “I am, but I am also realistic.”

  “Well, for a romantic person, that is probably one of the most scientific definitions of love that I have ever heard.”

  “Would you then like to share with me your definition of love?”

  “I believe that love is a feeling, something that you feel, an attraction.”

  “It is, but subconsciously in the back of your head there is a love script. For example, you were sitting across there and you looked at me. You liked me and were possibly attracted to me. But if you look a little deeper, you are also lonely, and don't want to feel lonely anymore. The reason that you are here tonight is that you don't want to have to spend tonight alone. So, you see your love script coupled with attraction was what made you stand up and walk over to me.”

  “Are you saying that it was not right or that there was something wrong with me coming here? That I am not attracted to you?”

  “No, all that I am saying is yes there is such a thing as true love, but it takes more than attraction, it takes the ability to endure hardships with each other and the ability to do extreme acts of selflessness to cherish what there is between the two people.”

  “I am not sure if my admittance of attraction to you was just accepted or rejected.”

  Amber laughs.

  “Well, I am prepared to endeavour a sustaining relationship with the man that I find love with, but I still need to be attracted to the person. Because attraction is the fuel that drives a couple to the point of true love. The point where they know that they have something they can cherish and fight for.”